How Life Works...

Many people ask us about how we do things, or how our family operates, or how we make it work with all these kids!  Well, let me tell you this, it's not easy!! Until you work together.  and yes, I know I've blogged about this before, but as more people are finding our blog as I've been posting it more to Facebook (www.facebook.com/supertonka), I'd like to just answer them all here!

It all started like this... 

Yup, that's the day that Hubby officially proposed.  We already had quite the family, and wanted to continue to build it together!  We've now added 3 more to our brood, though most people only count the Hippo, since she's the only one they can see.

So... to answer the questions I usually get...

How can I stay home?  Well, because hubby works like a crazy person!  

By day, he is a High School Cafeteria Manager.  Does that bring home amazing money? NO!! not at all, but we pay our bills, have a roof over our heads and have gas in our vehicles, so does it really matter that we can't afford crazy vacations and trips to the salon, only sometimes when mommy isn't feeling like a DIYer...  

We pay cash, we save money every where we can, and though we do afford ourselves luxuries like cable and smartphones, we would cut those out too if it was a choice between those luxuries and feeding our family.  

We wheel and deal!  Hubby was (in another life) a businessman in the antique/art/auction business, and sometimes, when he gets a bug up his sleeve, he starts up again.  We'll buy something CHEAP at a yard sale and he trades and sells and buys his way into what he wants!  It's quite entertaining to watch, though sometimes the kids and I hide in the car so we don't have to listen to the man sell ice to Eskimos (no seriously, sometimes I really believe he could do it!). 

We aren't afraid to work oddball jobs!  Check out the How We Provide tab on our blog to see just what all we do!

And... to top all that off, I"m a photographer.  I work from home (obviously!), but because I can schedule photo shoots around our family schedule, it works out great for us!  I can shoot anything from families to newborns to weddings and commercial deals, so if you need something done and you're local, hit me up!!

How do we keep the house clean?

HAH! Hubby would say it isn't ;-).

But, we do what we do through TEAMWORK!  Everyone has a job, even the Hippo.  The boys deal with trash, everyone helps with grocery shopping and putting away, the kids put away the dishes that mommy washes, everyone puts their own belongings and clothing away, and CHORES are my best friend!  Everyone has their chores, and they have to be done, or the house will quickly fall apart and be nearly unlivable!  Just please, if you drop by and think that the house is a mess, remember that WE LIVE HERE, not just exist.

How do we get places in a halfway timely fashion?

Again, Hubby would say that we don't.  Simply because he lives on Lombardi time and thinks that "on time" is LATE!  but again, the way we get out of the house is simple, TEAMWORK! (Are you noticing a theme?)  Wherever we go does require pre-planning, at least to an extent.  I typically get the girls showered and dressed, hubby brushes their hair and diapers, zips and buttons as needed while I take my shower and get dressed.  The bigger kids help the little kids find shoes and get them on.  The big Bubba gets the diaper bag packed with essentials while I do the girls hair... seriously, their 3 heads and my 1 of hair probably accounts for at least half the time we get ready!  Sinead O'Conner might have been on to something with her haircut ;-)!  Than on our way out the door, hubby and I tie up any loose ends as the kids load up!

How do we feed everybody?

Well, at the table! :-).  I menu plan a week to two weeks at a time, I shop sales, and we aren't afraid of leftovers!  They might be reused in the original way they were cooked, or completely remade, but assuming that they don't get lost in the depths of the fridge (AKA behind the milk!) most everything gets used at least once more before it is all gone!  Our kids have to eat what's in front of them, thankfully we don't deal with any food allergies, and that's that!  You finish your appropriately portioned plate, and you deal with it!  There have been a few times when my spices went crazy and dinner was too spicy for someone, and in that instance, they had to try it, and were allowed to make a PB&J when their eyes started watering ;-).  See, I'm not totally mean!  Oh, and mommy cooks, typically daddy dishes while the kids get drinks and utensils, the kids run plates to the table, and EVERYONE clears their own plate!  Even the Hippo when we let her ;-).

I think that's about it for the "normal" questions!  Do you have a question?  I'll try my best to answer it... just leave it in a comment below!

My grace is sufficient for you...

It's what Christ said to Paul, and I believe that the promise of 2 Corinthians 12:9 is for me (and our family) too!  Paul was writing to the church at Corinth and he was telling them of a problem that he was having, likely a physical problem, and well, this is what he said: "7 and lest I should be exalted above measure by teh abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.  8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  WOW. So the Apostle Paul, called out of sin by Christ Himself to spread the word of God to ALL people dealt with infirmities of all kinds, including those which God would not take away from him, telling him instead that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness".  I've heard it all my life, that God is a gentleman who would never force Himself on any of us, but that He stands at the door and knocks and WAITS for US to open the door to Him.  But what happens if we don't open the door, well, the simple answer is that we will die in our sins and be eternally with the devil in Hell.  But if, no when, we open that door, all kinds of amazingness is opened to us.  God promised that in Him we would have life, and not just life, that we would have it ABUNDANTLY.(John 10:10).  So, when we put everything in Him, all the stress, the worries, the medical issues, just life... He promised that He would be our strength (My strength is made perfect in weakness), and that we would be blessed with an ABUNDANT life.  How awesome is that.  Just the reminder that I needed this week.

So, yesterday's Dr appointments.  Our perinatologist is amazing.  I remember at this point during pregnancy with John, every Dr appointment was all doom and gloom and there was simply no encouragement towards hope.  Now, for SuperTonka, all that is spoken of has hope!  The measurements on the ultrasound say that the Cerebral Spinal Fluid is building within his ventricles.  BUT it also shows that his head is continuing to expand with the ventricles, meaning that there should be less intracranial pressure, therefore less pressure on teh brain matter that is developing which should mean that it is less likely to be damaged.  I know, there are a lot of conditional statements in all of that, but really, we're still in wait and see because we can't test more or know more until he's born!  So our job int eh meantime is to get him here safely.  What we (and the doctors) are currently thinking is that we let him grow for as long as possible before delivery so that he will have the possibility of fewer complications of being early to add to the stresses of the hydrocephalus.  Sometime in the next week or so, the perinatologist, neonatologist and neurosurgeon will have their big monthly sit down and discuss all their current cases that they are working together on, including Alexander!  After this meeting, we will meet with the Neonatologist and get their recommendations, and likely schedule Alexander's arrival!

Please continue to pray for us as we walk this road.  It's definitely not a particularly easy road to walk, even knowing that God is in control and that His grace is sufficient and that we can claim His strength.  We do have to still live this summer, though Hubby doesn't work through the summer since he works for the school board.  And well, while we think we have the right amounts of monies saved for the summer's bills and life, we could be very very wrong about that.  We know that God will provide everything that we need, but please pray that we will take the opportunities that He gives us to earn the funds that we need for continued trips to the specialists, the expected longer than usual stay in the hospital far away from our home, and that we will be fully prepared for whatever comes our way with Alexander's arrival.

Choices

Life is full of choices... and this week, I've been reminded of just how many we have to make.
The kids have stayed up late every night for the past two weeks, why you ask?  Because Hubby and I made the choice to let them.  Why did we make that choice?  because we stumbled across the series The Bible on Netflix and we started watching it.  Ever since the first episode, they've begged to watch the next episode each night!  So, we made a choice, and let them watch it, all of it, yes, even the crucifixion scene.

Daily we are called on to make choices, as people, as parents, and as Christians.  All those titles come into play with every choice that we make.  The choice I had to make for today weighed heavily on me for a day or two until we got to church last night.  It's amazing to me how a Bible lesson meant for teenagers can have such an impact on my life as well.  For me, my difficult choice this week, was this... to attend the Spring football game with my family OR go to Praise Team Rehearsal.  I know, it sounds simple, but it wasn't.  You see, I've made a commitment to my family, and we participate together in 95% of what we do.  I say 95% because well, there are some things that we don't do together... work, praise team rehearsal, mens activities at church, "gender specific" chores. ((Yes, I know that's a totally different blog post, but yes, there are gender specific chores in our house... like the boys take the trash out, mommy and the girls fold laundry and wash dishes, daddy cares for the lawn.... it's how we live, just deal with it ;-))  So. That 5% makes up very little of our lives.

Last football season, even hubby coaching for the high school football team was a family commitment, have you seen how much laundry a football team can create? or how a bunch of football minded coaches take care in organizing an equipment room? or seen a large group of men try to figure out what size game pants need to be passed out every week?  Yup, in steps the mommas who can organize, and for us, that meant many hours of me and the little girls washing, drying and organizing, and then taking the whole family to pass out jerseys and game pants and make sure that everyone was properly suited up for the games.

So, how does one make a decision between cheering on her favorite football team and attending a rehearsal?  Well, eventually it's made pretty simple.  She goes to youth group.  And learns again about choices, and putting God first in all things.  I know I know, it's not like I would be missing a church service, or keeping the kids from a Bible class, it's rehearsal.  BUT. I made a commitment. To rehearse and to sing.  I may never be the next American Idol (great job, Caleb!), thankfully, I'm finally to old to audition... but I love to sing, and joined the praise team at church as a way to sing praise and lead others to worship through song on Sunday mornings.  And if I slacked off at rehearsal and sang without learning the songs or arrangements, well, God can take the not greatest voices and make them sound wonderful while singing His praises, but disharmony and wrong words just aren't acceptable.

So, I'll be at church rehearsing, with the two little girls in tow so that hubby and Bubba can be on the field with the team... knowing that I've made the right decision, to honor my commitment, and that I"m showing my children how to make tough choices by putting God first.

Longest Week Ever... Again

I know, every week seems like it feels like the longest week ever!  Whether it's waiting for payday (yay for paying bills!! LOL), waiting for a vehicle to be repaired (nope, hasn't been dropped off yet, :-)), or waiting for time to pass before it's the day to take a peek at Alexander again!!  Yup, today makes it ONE... MORE... REALLY... LONG... WEEK... until we see the perinatologist next Tuesday morning to see how Alexander is growing!

It's kinda crazy, at that point he'll be 31.5 weeks done growing (normal delivery is at 40, and currently the doctors are suggesting that he's born between 36 and 37 weeks) and only about 5 or 6 weeks from being born!!  ACK!! I'm not ready!  But then again, what mother ever is?  I mean, Alexander is our 6th child.  We've got the infant stuff pretty well under control... feed, burp, change a diaper, rock to sleep,  put him in the wrap and keep going with whatever else is going on!  But the addition another person to the family comes with it's own interesting problems to solve... like, how does a mom make it to the grocery store, without forgetting things, or losing her mind while she's there? Answer... the mind will always be lost, and something will always be forgotten.  How does mom make dinner when sh'es forgotten ingredients at the store? Answer... she's plays Chopped! with what's in the pantry.  Where does everyone sit in the car so that there won't be arguments, and the carseats can be reached to buckle and unbuckle?  Answer, where the seats fit, and they'll have to learn how to get along.  How does a family get to places on time when there are small children and a newborn to deal with?  Answer, well, they just do.  Daddy gets mean reminding mommy of what time it is (sometimes, it's just necessary), everyone has a job to do and does it, and you just go!  I guess what I"m really not feeling ready for is the remembering to pack bottles, and extra outfits, and diapers in two sizes, and yikes... I"m overwhelming myself for no reason, because it all works. As long as everyone works together.

And... I was going to say more... BUT, I'm being paged to pour some juice and snuggle a certain little potty trainer to sleep... it's rough being mommy ;-)

NFL Draft & Doctors Appointments

Yes, yesterday was Draft Day, and Dr Appointment Day, both important days to our family for various reasons. :-)

This last Sunday at Church, Pastor started preaching a new series on Family.  Ahh, the ups, downs, joys, sorrows and trails of family, and this particular week was about how to make our families stronger.  The six ways that Pastor presented for strengthening our families were, Commitment, Time Together, Appreciation, Communication, Coping Skills, and Spiritual Health.  As hubby and I sat in service Sunday, listening to Pastor, we were both randomly looking at each other, knowing what the other was thinking, and knowing how each of those things applied to our family, and how we've been working on improving in those areas.  It was awesome.  I know, that had nothing to do with Draft Day or Dr Appointments, BUT it did. and you'll understand as I keep rambling ;-)

So Draft Day, yup, I"m going to tell you all about that first, not because it's more important, but because I think I"m about to say something that someone else needs to read, and I don't want you to miss it, while you read on just trying to get to the part of the blog where I start talking about Super Tonka appointments!  I don't know how many of you are "football wives/widows" but trust me, it really is a thing.  Until hubby and I got together, I loved football.  The game of football, I didn't really care which team was playing, and you can ask the man, I still stay pretty clueless on the divisions and how all that works, but when it comes to what happens on the field, I've got a pretty good handle on it.  I even have a pretty decent three point stance :-)!  But Draft Day.  Waiting for pick 16, waiting to see what direction Jerry Jones was going to steer our Cowboys in, 150 minutes into the Draft, 160 if all the teams take their entire time... it was a really long wait!  But we spent the time together as a family.  Oh yes, all of us, eating junk food (Seriously, we had wings, tacquitos, potato skin, pizza rolls, and garlic bread leftover from our favorite restaurant), all gathered in the living room, watching, waiting, talking through the players, the teams, the choices, wondering what impact these young men would have on the teams that drafted them.  We talked through the draft choices, their strengths, what they would bring to their new teams.  And then I was wondering, what if we could draft our families?!  Isn't that what we do when we choose our mate?  We decide how they will fit with our ideal of a family, will they work in the "system" that we have instituted, are they worth changing the "system"?  What about drafting our children?!  Would we make the decision for the child that will be a blessing because of their own personal quirks, or would we all choose the child that was the EASY pick for our family?  Who would chose the kids that don't seem to be easy on anyone?  Wow, I'm really glad that that decision is left to God of which kid we get!!  And as for the Cowboys draft choice of Zach Martin, an offensive lineman... well, without the right men in the trenches, the "superstars" of the team can never get off the big plays.  I, well WE, are of the mindset that the line is the most important positions on the field, because without them, no plays, no matter how brilliant, will ever work.

And Dr Appointment day.  I think we've "drafted" the best team of doctors possible, both for my care and for Super Tonka's care.  (You liked that didn't you!)  Doctor appointment day is quickly becoming one of my favorite days, hubby and I gt to spend time together, talking without being interrupted, and at times just alone with our own thoughts, but together, which all of you parents know, is nearly impossible to find that time together.  Our doctors all seem very encouraging, yet very on top of the possibilities for not encouraging information to appear.  We are seeing doctors and specialists within the same hospital system so thankfully, all of our care can be coordinated rather easily!  Most of the information is quickly and easily transferred thanks to modern technology.  But the part you really want to know... the OB said things look great and his heart beat is strong!  They are listening to what the Perinatologist and the Neurosurgeon suggest for delivery and do know th
at I will not be allowed to go into labor on my own... since we live two hours away from the hospital where I will deliver.  That could get ugly...   We dropped off our copy of baby John's MRI to the neurosurgeon's office, along with a copy of his discharge papers from Florida Hospital.  (The records people weren't moving fast enough for our liking in getting the records moved to where they needed to be ;-).) Then, there was the appointment with lunch, AKA dessert for lunch.  Orlando Ale House, right next to Full Sail University, just go and eat either the Captain Jack's dessert OR the Captain's Nutty Brother.  Just trust me on this one. Then, we were off to the perinatologist appointment for a high level ultrasound and more brain measurements!  How exciting, I love seeing Super Tonka.  It amazes me that we can see and watch so closely exactly how God is forming him, exactly how He wants him to be.  \But what you really wanted to know... In the month between measurements, Alexander's left verntricle has grown from 13mm to 18mm, and his right ventricle has grown from 24mm to 39mm.  The promising part in this growth is that his head has continued to expand, allowing room for probably brain development despite the extra fluid, he head is currently measuring at 33weeks, though he is only at 25w 5d gestational age.  At this point the notes from the perinatologist say that the most likely mode of delivery will be by c-section, and that if the hydrocephaly continues at this rate, we may schedule c-section for 36-37 weeks depending on the neurosurgeon's recommendations.

So, please keep praying.  Our next round of appointments are on May 27th, we see the perinatologist in the morning, the neurosurgeon right after that, and then the OB in the afternoon.  And from there, we'll know more... at that point we will be 31 1/2 weeks pregnant, and likely only a month from meeting our baby boy! Yikes! How exciting!!

When it Rains...

... it Pours!

My garage is drenched.  Not to the point of mostly unsalvageable, but at 5:15 this morning... I would have sworn that I could swim in it!!

Hubby got in the shower this morning and was telling me that he didn't need coffee, he was wide awake thanks to only having cold water... so, I headed to the garage, like any good wife would.  (Started the coffee pot on my way past it ;-)).  We both figured the hot water heater had blown. Well, it's not the hot water heater... I walked in the garage to the sounds of a waterfall!  Apparently, before the washer filled to rinse the diapers for the final time... the hot water hose burst off the back of the washer!  It's connection was apparently rusty, and it had been running, for I don't even know exactly for sure how long, but probably since somewhere near 7 last night... I'm calling the water company later to see what kind of grace they will give us on our bill... So, long story short, waterfall, drywall (wetwall?), rusted tight valves that hubby had to break to turn the water to the washer off but leave the water to the house running... and I called the plumber as soon as they opened.  Add to that the fact that one kiddo woke up puking... and has continued to vomit, and it's going to be a very interesting day!!

But, God is good, He's got this too...

Cautious Optimism

That's the Neurosurgeon's words, that we have cause for cautious optimism where Alexander is concerned!  To me, that's a weight lifted off my shoulders!  In short, because I can't spell half the words in the report, the radiologists report said that they suspect that Alexander has Dandy-Walker Syndrome.  This means is that there is a cyst-like growth in the rear of his head that pushes on the drain between ventricles therefore causing hydrocephalus because the cerebrospinal fluid cannot drain through the compromised drain.  Approximately 1 in 2,500 people have some form of Dandy-Walker Syndrome, but there are many who don't even know that they have a "problem".  The doctor said that there are many who do not have to have medical interventions, but there are also many who must have medical interventions and therapies.  and we won't know where on that scale Alexander will fall, until after he gets here.  The recommendation from the neurosurgeon is to let him bake as long as we can and that his delivery will be based on recommendations from the OB based on Alexander's head size as we get closer to his due date.


In other News...
Do you ever wonder if God is simply testing your devotion to Him?  Ever wonder if He really is trying to test what you can handle?  Yup, I'm kinda feeling that way the last few days.  I've been stressing about our bills, because well, trips to Orlando every week to various doctors appointments aren't exactly cheap on the gas budget, or the food budget for that matter.  We've been handling it though.  Trying to get a boost in my photography business, trying to cut our other bills down, doing everything we can think of to not make the kids feel like we're really sacrificing, but to trim down our bills.  So far, we've changed our cell phone plans, cancelled Netflix, cut back on our eating out, working on reducing our water and power bills... does anyone else have any great ideas?  Our power bill was reduced yesterday by act of God... our upright deep freezer finally kicked the proverbial bucket.  I don't know exactly how old it was, but I do know that it moved to my parents house from my grandparents house in 1994ish, we inherited it from them a few years ago, and it has served us faithfully since then... so it was time for it to go, just really, it could've happened when it was nearly empty, not mostly full.  Hubby's description was the most accurate, it smells like death.  All our meat was in various states of defrost, the stink had started, and the cardboard that was in there already had the smell stuck in it... so that was a painful trip to the trash can.





Also, we got to take the little girls to Disney!!  Hubby had a work conference that the girls and I tagged along to, and they offered "cheap" tickets at conference prices for after 4 (4-11 is plenty of time for a rather preggo woman and two young girls anyway) the same week that hubby's bonus came in for being awesome at work!  I'm not sure who had more fun, me or the girls, it definitely wasn't hubby.  He could live without ever knowing that Disney existed.








All in all, it's a been a week full of ups and downs, but really, it's mostly ups.  We still have food to eat, we still have enough money for gas in the tank, the A/C is shot in the Suburban but its windows work, there really isn't much that can be thrown at us to keep us down!