What's in a Name?

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

A name is so important.  Not only is it what you are called by, but it's your title, your reputation, your history, all rolled into just a few words.  We decided on Alexander's name a LONG time ago... before I was obviously pregnant, before we knew he was a boy, before we knew he was destined to be required to be a fighter.  We really like the movies of wars, I know we have issues.  But when you think about those movies, they are legend mixed with a little history and even some Biblical references.  Think about 300, Troy, Alexander....
Then we looked up the meaning of the name Alexander... and learned that it's heritage is Greek and it means helper and defender of mankind.  What a name to live up to!  Of course, our first thoughts were football, being that the hubby nor I are small people, we're guessing that Alexander will be built solidly, and that's perfection for a lineman.  Think about it, the quarterbacks, running backs, and linebackers get the majority of the fame and glory for playing amazing football.  But if it weren't for the offensive and defensive lines, those boys/men would never have the chance to do their jobs.  There's a reason the "Great Wall of Dallas" will forever go down in history, that stories like that of Michael Oher will live on; without the protection and aid of those men, the Cowboys of yesteryear would never have gotten to where they did and there never would have been the story of "the Blind Side".  Even now, knowing what we think we know, and knowing the fight that Alexander has before him, we think of the examples he has that went before him, fighters (both physically and mentally) Alexander the Great, Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Graham Bell; all men who chased their dreams.
His middle name will be Luke.  My first thought of course was Luke of the Bible.  Apostle, helper, doctor... and then we looked up that name, of Latin origin meaning Light.  Just like the Bible says in Matthew 5:14 "You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."  Wow. so we've saddled our son with the name Alexander Luke... A helper and defender of man who will also be a light.  So glad it's not my name ;-).

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.

Charles Spurgeon

Then we were thinking.  So many people I see that call their children, fighters of all things from cancer, to mitochondrial disease, to autism, to debilitating allergies, they call them their superheroes.  I completely believe that they are Superheroes, sent to teach us to truly love, to fight our way through life, these kids are so much smaller and many frailer than we will ever be, and yet they go through so much.  So, I was thinking, that Alexander (or Xander as he is known is certain groups of our friends), needs a superhero name.  Much like Batman and Superman have alter egos, Alexander needs one as well.  My mom hit the nail on the head.  Alexander will be known as "SUPER TONKA". Hubby's nickname since his teenage years has been "Tonka", because he was as tough as a Tonka truck.

So it's not the greatest picture... it was still healing... 

Ok, so it was a mirror picture... but you get the idea... I made that shirt when I was pregnant with John... 

And when John was born he was known as "Tiny Tonka".  So it's only fitting that Alexander will be "Super Tonka".  Now... I"m off to find him a cape... And for those that are wondering, because I"m sure you are... the "Tonka Tough" March of Dimes fundraising team will be reinstated, and will do more than jsut fundraising for March of Dimes!

Now... to find a cape!

The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name.

Theodore Roosevelt

Feeling Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed.  It's becoming all too common of a feeling.  It seems that no matter how many "ducks" I have rearranged to go into the row that I need them in, there is always something that comes along and "unrows" my "ducks" and it's really starting to get annoying.  I tell people often that when my children aren't listening it's like herding frogs trying to get them all headed in the right direction, and right now, I feel like sorting out our lives is like herding frogs, or maybe lizards...

I got an email.  I love and hate that email all at once.  It offered a chance to talk to and commiserate with a mom of a child with hydrocephalus, as only mothers facing similar lives can commiserate together.  But it also offered up the reality of a scary proposition.  Apparently, the average bill for the surgery that Alexander will likely need within days of his birth is $30,000.  and that doesn't include the time he will spend in the NICU, his delivery, my care, or making ourselves available to that care.  And that's if his surgery is "normal".  While I hate that the price tag of modern medical miracles is so expensive, I am also extremely grateful that we have the access to that medicine.  I'm left wondering now what insurance will pay of that, will his care be normal, what interventions will he need beyond that... and yet, I also know that my God is a great big God and He can do amazing things, including having it in His great and mighty plan to have us give birth to a perfectly healthy boy that needs NO medical interventions EVER.

I have heard a time or two to just let go, quit planning and trust God to heal.  Well, I do trust that God will heal, but I also know that sometimes His will is not our own.  Maybe for some reason it is His will that we have a son who needs medical interventions, maybe this is His way of showing us where He needs us to be in life.  Maybe I'm the loud mouth that will work to educate people on Hydrocephalus and raise money for research for a cure!  Yup, you read that right, currently there are only treatments for the symptoms of hydrocephalus, no cure is currently available.  After some quick research, I find that in America alone there is approximately $1 billion spent annually on the treatment of hydrocephalus, and that there is not nearly that much spent on researching a cure for the disease.

Through it all, I keep praying.  Keep asking God to give me a perfect, healthy boy.  But, I will continue to prepare for my son to need the medical interventions that he is expected to need.  I will prepare to get him all the care he may or may not need.  But I will also prepare to continue to attempt to educate people about hydrocephalus, the need for a cure, and the care that goes into an abundant life for those living with hydro.  The song that's been playing in my mind today... it's been quite the comforting ear worm, hope it is for you as well...

Because He Lives

God sent His son, They called him Jesus

He came to love, Heal and forgive

He lived and died, To buy my pardon

An empty grave, Is there to prove

My Savior lives

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, All fear is gone

Because I know, He holds the future

And life is worth the living, Just because He lives

How sweet to hold, A newborn baby

And feel the pride, And joy he gives

But greater still, The calm assurance

This child can face, Uncertain days

Just Because He lives

And then one day, I'll cross the river

I'll fight life's final war with pain, And then as death

Gives way to victory, I'll see the lights

Of glory and, I'll know He lives