What's in a Name?

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

A name is so important.  Not only is it what you are called by, but it's your title, your reputation, your history, all rolled into just a few words.  We decided on Alexander's name a LONG time ago... before I was obviously pregnant, before we knew he was a boy, before we knew he was destined to be required to be a fighter.  We really like the movies of wars, I know we have issues.  But when you think about those movies, they are legend mixed with a little history and even some Biblical references.  Think about 300, Troy, Alexander....
Then we looked up the meaning of the name Alexander... and learned that it's heritage is Greek and it means helper and defender of mankind.  What a name to live up to!  Of course, our first thoughts were football, being that the hubby nor I are small people, we're guessing that Alexander will be built solidly, and that's perfection for a lineman.  Think about it, the quarterbacks, running backs, and linebackers get the majority of the fame and glory for playing amazing football.  But if it weren't for the offensive and defensive lines, those boys/men would never have the chance to do their jobs.  There's a reason the "Great Wall of Dallas" will forever go down in history, that stories like that of Michael Oher will live on; without the protection and aid of those men, the Cowboys of yesteryear would never have gotten to where they did and there never would have been the story of "the Blind Side".  Even now, knowing what we think we know, and knowing the fight that Alexander has before him, we think of the examples he has that went before him, fighters (both physically and mentally) Alexander the Great, Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Graham Bell; all men who chased their dreams.
His middle name will be Luke.  My first thought of course was Luke of the Bible.  Apostle, helper, doctor... and then we looked up that name, of Latin origin meaning Light.  Just like the Bible says in Matthew 5:14 "You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden."  Wow. so we've saddled our son with the name Alexander Luke... A helper and defender of man who will also be a light.  So glad it's not my name ;-).

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.

Charles Spurgeon

Then we were thinking.  So many people I see that call their children, fighters of all things from cancer, to mitochondrial disease, to autism, to debilitating allergies, they call them their superheroes.  I completely believe that they are Superheroes, sent to teach us to truly love, to fight our way through life, these kids are so much smaller and many frailer than we will ever be, and yet they go through so much.  So, I was thinking, that Alexander (or Xander as he is known is certain groups of our friends), needs a superhero name.  Much like Batman and Superman have alter egos, Alexander needs one as well.  My mom hit the nail on the head.  Alexander will be known as "SUPER TONKA". Hubby's nickname since his teenage years has been "Tonka", because he was as tough as a Tonka truck.

So it's not the greatest picture... it was still healing... 

Ok, so it was a mirror picture... but you get the idea... I made that shirt when I was pregnant with John... 

And when John was born he was known as "Tiny Tonka".  So it's only fitting that Alexander will be "Super Tonka".  Now... I"m off to find him a cape... And for those that are wondering, because I"m sure you are... the "Tonka Tough" March of Dimes fundraising team will be reinstated, and will do more than jsut fundraising for March of Dimes!

Now... to find a cape!

The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name.

Theodore Roosevelt

Feeling Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed.  It's becoming all too common of a feeling.  It seems that no matter how many "ducks" I have rearranged to go into the row that I need them in, there is always something that comes along and "unrows" my "ducks" and it's really starting to get annoying.  I tell people often that when my children aren't listening it's like herding frogs trying to get them all headed in the right direction, and right now, I feel like sorting out our lives is like herding frogs, or maybe lizards...

I got an email.  I love and hate that email all at once.  It offered a chance to talk to and commiserate with a mom of a child with hydrocephalus, as only mothers facing similar lives can commiserate together.  But it also offered up the reality of a scary proposition.  Apparently, the average bill for the surgery that Alexander will likely need within days of his birth is $30,000.  and that doesn't include the time he will spend in the NICU, his delivery, my care, or making ourselves available to that care.  And that's if his surgery is "normal".  While I hate that the price tag of modern medical miracles is so expensive, I am also extremely grateful that we have the access to that medicine.  I'm left wondering now what insurance will pay of that, will his care be normal, what interventions will he need beyond that... and yet, I also know that my God is a great big God and He can do amazing things, including having it in His great and mighty plan to have us give birth to a perfectly healthy boy that needs NO medical interventions EVER.

I have heard a time or two to just let go, quit planning and trust God to heal.  Well, I do trust that God will heal, but I also know that sometimes His will is not our own.  Maybe for some reason it is His will that we have a son who needs medical interventions, maybe this is His way of showing us where He needs us to be in life.  Maybe I'm the loud mouth that will work to educate people on Hydrocephalus and raise money for research for a cure!  Yup, you read that right, currently there are only treatments for the symptoms of hydrocephalus, no cure is currently available.  After some quick research, I find that in America alone there is approximately $1 billion spent annually on the treatment of hydrocephalus, and that there is not nearly that much spent on researching a cure for the disease.

Through it all, I keep praying.  Keep asking God to give me a perfect, healthy boy.  But, I will continue to prepare for my son to need the medical interventions that he is expected to need.  I will prepare to get him all the care he may or may not need.  But I will also prepare to continue to attempt to educate people about hydrocephalus, the need for a cure, and the care that goes into an abundant life for those living with hydro.  The song that's been playing in my mind today... it's been quite the comforting ear worm, hope it is for you as well...

Because He Lives

God sent His son, They called him Jesus

He came to love, Heal and forgive

He lived and died, To buy my pardon

An empty grave, Is there to prove

My Savior lives

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, All fear is gone

Because I know, He holds the future

And life is worth the living, Just because He lives

How sweet to hold, A newborn baby

And feel the pride, And joy he gives

But greater still, The calm assurance

This child can face, Uncertain days

Just Because He lives

And then one day, I'll cross the river

I'll fight life's final war with pain, And then as death

Gives way to victory, I'll see the lights

Of glory and, I'll know He lives

A Peculiar People

Life isn't always comfortable. Maybe it's in dealing with our comfort zones that Christ calls us to be truly different.  As Christians, we are called to be a peculiar people (1 Peter 2:9); a people that the world can look at and see that something is different.  It doesn't mean that they will understand, even with explanation, because Christ said that until a person is ready to receive Christ, he will not understand the ways of God, and therefore will not understand the ways of a Christian who is truly following what God has in store for him.
All that being said...
Last night at Youth Group we started studying the story of the Samaritan Woman at the Well.  I know, anyone who has been to church for any length of time has likely heard the story... Jesus goes to Samaria, sits at a well because he's thirsty, and so on and so forth... but if we really READ what the words say the story takes on a whole new meaning.  I know - this is going to get harder to read, but bear with me... the passage from John is this... (My words and notes in BLUE)

John 4:1-18 (BibleGateway - New King James Version)
Therefore, when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John2 (though Jesus Himself did not baptize, but His disciples), 3 He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. 4 But He needed to go through Samaria. Christ NEEDED to go through Samaria.  No normal Jew would go through Samaria, but would pass around, despite being way out of the way, because they wanted nothing to do with the Samaritans who they viewed as "lesser" people because they had intermarried with other religions and were no longer a pure people. 5 So He came to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.6 Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour. About noon - remember that without watches and alarm clocks and satellites to set the time, in ancient times, people told time by the sun, so the 6th hour would be about 6 hours after sunrise, somewhere near noon. 7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” Really, a woman walked that far to the well with her water jugs to gather water for her family at noon?!  That's not normal.  The historical norm was for a woman to go around sunrise to get her water for the day... and then again around sunset if she had need.    8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. Beyond that Christ was alone as He had sent the disciples into the city.... so we have here a Jewish Man speaking to a Samaritan Woman.... all KINDS of cultural norms being broken.  9 Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.  10 Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” 11 The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 12 Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?”  13 Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” 15 The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” 

Ok - so I'm going to stop the story there for now.  So Jesus NEEDed to go through Samaria (Weird), He talked to a Samaritan (WEIRDER), the Samaritan was a Woman (EVEN WEIRDER), and He spoke to her the truth concerning Himself as Savior and of her past. (Really, does anyone but Christ know all of our secrets?)

Think about it.  Christ told us to Go and preach Him.  He gave this example of going outside our comfort zones, into places where people don't always believe what we believe, and truly caring for people, no matter their circumstances, their past or their present.  It reminds me of what a preacher I was listening to once said "No ones cares how much you know, until they know how much you care."  

As we're going though everything in our life right now, as we wait on Alexander to make his arrival and prove doctors wrong... I'm very much outside my comfort zone.  I like knowing and planning and being prepared.  I do not like expecting the unknown.  No matter who I'm talking to, I try my best to explain the peace that Christ promised to give us, that He has given to us as a family.  So, yes friends, though I have my weak moments when I'm scared for the future, dreading the reality that I may one day hold my son as he takes his last breath.  I have a peace, a peace that surpasses ALL understanding.  I know that no matter what happens with Alexander, my God is in control.  He has an amazing plan, though we may not understand.  And no matter what, I'm still praying for a complete healing, that as we continue visiting doctors and planning for Alexander's arrival, we may be able to share with the Doctors that we DO know how he was healed, he was healed by the faith and prayers of MANY who are praying with us.  Thank you, for all your prayers, and your support.

All.

You are my strength when I am weak

You are the treasure that I seek

You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel

Lord, to give up I'd be a fool

You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame

Rising again I bless Your name

You are my all in all

When I fall down You pick me up

When I am dry You fill my cup

You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

You Are My All in All Written by: Dennis Jernigan

This song will always hold a special place in my heart.  If I ever quit singing long enough to just close my eyes and remember I'm transported back to the Island of Aligandi, Panama in the Summer of 1998 with my team from Teen Missions International.  I can still hear Joe playing his guitar and Lena singing... but if I really listen, I hear the words.  You are my strength (Thank goodness, because I have very little...) Lord, to give up I'd be a fool (Well, yeah... If He's truly my strength, why would I have a need to give up?)... When I fall down you pick me up, When I am dry you fill my cup (Wow, just wow, He cares THAT much about ME!)  What a glorious, might God we serve.

In other news, Alexander is starting to really make his presence known.  Kicking and squirming when I try to lay down... or his sister sits on top of him... lol...  It's so encouraging just to be able to feel him move.  Only 4.5 days until we leave for our Spring Break Vacation.  We prepaid a hotel forever ago, and now it's finally come time to use it!  We're still hoping to be able to take the kids to Disney, but I don't know if it will happen.  Our amazing friends set up a fundraiser for us, which puts Disney in much more reasonable sights, but there's only so many days left, and I'm trying to not gets my hopes set too high.  I know that our God is mighty and can do amazing and wonderful things that we don't expect Him to, but you never know what His plans truly are until we just slow down and wait on Him.  (I'm not a very patient person.)

Have a wonderful day, and remember, Jesus really is ALL that you need.

Life Happens...

I know I've been a slacker about blogging, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, and be prepared to be bombarded with lots and lots of musings from this side of the computer screen.


March 7th.  Our Day which shall forever live in Infamy.
We headed off on that fateful Friday afternoon to see our favorite OB/GYN for our 20 week anatomy scan.  We were more concerned about boy vs girl than anything else, but all that really didn't matter as long as our baby was deemed healthy. Yay!!! It's a boy.  His name will be Alexander Luke. And then, the scan continued.  We learned that baby Alexander will likely have the same problems that cost his brother John Dallas his life.  Our world stopped turning, at least for a moment, and then we snapped back to reality as our almost 10 year old explained to us exactly how he needed to move the furniture around in his room, so that we could put the crib in the boy room!  I sat and wondered, didn't you just hear? Do you not understand? Am I really going to hold another son while he takes his last breath?

John Dallas. 10-26-2011 - 11-12-2011

As heartbreaking as it sounds.  There is hope.  We have been placed in the care of an amazing team of Doctors.  Doctors who are encouraging hope, and a chance at life, and proper care, rather than encouraging the termination of a pregnancy.  Already we have undergone more followup testing than anyone ever even suggested for John.  But beyond that, our Hope has a name.

Our Hope is placed in no one but Christ alone.  I won't lie and say that it's easy, it's a lot harder than I even feel like it should be just to trust.  As the song says, (lyrics to In Christ Alone, as sung by Natalie Grant)...
In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Please, join us in praying for a miracle.  Our Facebook page... for faster updates and LOTS of pictures... Praying for a Miracle.

God has to have a sense of humor...

Why?  Because animals are cute!!  Yes, animals have purposes... to feed, to protect, to carry, to pull , and to look cute!!  Why am I thinking about this today?  Well, because we caught a pig! Finally!!!  We got the right mixture of foods in the right cage and got a pig! I walked with Hubby up to the trap and my first comment was "Aww, she's cute!" He still doesn't believe that I'll turn her into a delicious dinner.... BUT, I've learned over the years that well, God didn't make ugly things... Some things aren't as pretty as others, but He covered His Earth in things that were pleasing to His eye!

She's a pretty girl... and she'll be awfully yummy!  Thank you Lord for your provision!

The Holidays have ARRIVED!!!

It's official, the holidays are here!  Technically, Thanksgiving has passed, but we still have so much to be thankful for.  The start to the Holiday season at our house has always been daddy playing Santa Claus for a local elementary school.

The Hippo was NOT fooled by the suit. She knew that was her daddy!

Thanksgiving came quickly this year, and went by just as quickly...

And somehow... this is the only picture I took, and it's even from Wednesday!!  LOL.  Bubba and the Hippo had to help me organize my baking cabinet so that I could get pies and cupcakes made :-).  They're such good helpers, can't you tell?

Thursday was amazing.  I cooked a lot, and hubby cooked even more!  It was the first year we've really split the cooking and I highly recommend it!  The best part of Thursday was opening the door for my Aunt and Uncle who I knew were coming in from out of town and finding my cousin and his three kids standing outside too!  What a fantastic surprise.  (Sad part, his wife had to work... thank a nurse next time you see one for sacrificing time with their families to make sure you stay healthy!)

Black Friday... well, we go shopping when everyone else is heading home.  So we picked up a few deals, bought some family movies, and generally enjoyed the madness.  We also baited a hog trap and had family movie night :-).

The Birthday Princess and a little sister!

The Hippo decided that there was too much excitement... and took a nap!

Saturday came with the big princess' birthday party.  I cannot believe she turned 8 today (12/3)... Her birthday party was all her plan... pink, camo, princess, cowboy, western. Complete with a strawberry flavor cactus cake!  It was a great day with just a few close friends and family... Thank you... to all who came to celebrate with us.

The Strawberry flavored cactus cake.

Sunday found us at church celebrating knowing that we will soon be celebrating the birth of our Christ!

Monday (Yesterday) Christmas decorations came out.  Our rule is that we don't decorate until after the Princess' birthday has been thoroughly celebrated.

 Today... Hubby is taking care of cutting the grass in preparation for decorating the outside of the house... I am SO excited.  I love Christmas!  I just wish that more people knew the Magic of Christmas all through the year.

In other news... visit our Facebook Page for amazing sales and deals!